What Is A Lay Cistercian? The Answer From A Current Member
Co-authored by Lay Cistercians of South Florida member Nancy Heise.
In a nutshell, Lay Cistercians are ordinary lay Catholics seeking to have a deeper connection with God by living a life guided by the Rule of St. Benedict and inspired by Cistercian monastic practices.
They come from all walks of life. Some have jobs, others are retired. Some are married while others are enjoying single blessedness. They can be your neighbor, your baby sitter, or your banker. You won’t even distinguish them in the streets. They are just like any other people who have mortgages and are affected by the same trivialities that most people go through. But what unites them is a deep yearning for a life of contemplation and prayer.
Cistercians are considered to “be” what is called “contemplatives”. They become people who contemplate God and his teachings.
Lay Cistercians and Monastic Life
Contrary to popular beliefs, Lay Cistercians are not laypeople pretending to be monks. But they do have a special relationship with monks and nuns.
The Lay Cistercians have incorporated healthy spiritual practices of the monks into their own lives. This helps them connect their lives more fully to God. The friendship of the monks themselves brings an added dimension of spiritual brotherhood. It gives them a glimpse of the gentleness, patience, and sincerity a soul can acquire.
The monks are their model for virtues of obedience, perseverance, faithfulness, and humility. In return, the community provides nurturing spiritual support to its members and maintains a spiritual friendship with the monks.
The Rule of St. Benedict
In 516 AD, St. Benedict of Nursia wrote a book of precepts. This became the code of instruction for monks living communally under the direction of an abbot. The precepts became known as “The Rule of St. Benedict“. It was adopted and had been used by the Benedictines for 15 centuries.
When the Cistercian order was founded more than 500 years later in 1098, they too adopted the rule. In the 20th century, it became the guiding principle for the Lay Cistercians’ way of life.
Saint Benedict’s rule reflects the Benedictine motto of peace and ora et labora (pray and work). One of its goals is to provide spiritual support to the monk’s ascetic effort. It also aims to foster spiritual growth necessary for the fulfillment of the human vocation.
Most of the precepts are about establishing order in the monastery. It discusses the prayer hours as well as the punishments for erring monks. It also details the rules concerning monks working in the field, traveling, or serving in the kitchen.
But the 4th chapter of the rule outlines the duties of every Christian under 72 precepts which are referred to as the tools for good works. They include most of the ten commandments and some guidelines to reinforce asceticism such as:
- Renounce yourself in order to follow Christ.
- Do not pamper yourself but love fasting.
- You must relieve the lot of the poor, clothe the naked and visit the sick.
- Help the troubled and console the sorrowing.
- Rid your heart of all deceit.
These are just some of the rules that serve as a guide for the Lay Cistercian way of life.
The Importance of Prayer For Lay Cistercians
Everyone has their own story of how they became convinced of the importance of prayer. If we were to listen to everyone’s personal story we might see a common theme: a personal encounter with the Divine to some degree. Jesus tells St Thomas “You believe because you have seen me, Blessed are those who have not seen me yet believe.” Some people, like St Thomas, have very explicit encounters and others believe because they are blessed to believe without having such encounters. They “know in their heart” the Truth. My own personal road to discovering God and the importance of prayer began in 7th grade when I was upset one day over some injustice I had experienced at school. I was walking home crying and suddenly looked up to the sky and wondered “Where are you?” A week or so later I was walking with a group of other people into the first Christian church, to my knowledge, that I had ever entered in my life – a Catholic church. As my feet crossed the threshold of the front doors I experienced a very profound “hug” of love that went down to my soul and caused me to bend over crying and I heard and felt God say to me “I am here”. At this moment I remembered that I had actually asked that question a week or so before “Where are you?” – at the time not expecting an answer – just venting. This experience brought me great joy knowing for sure that God is actually real, not a myth or a fairytale, and that he actually loves us. I asked my parents if I could get baptized.
The Daily Life of a Lay Cistercian
A Lay Cistercian’s daily life is much like the rest of us. They go to work, manage their businesses, or tend to their family. But whatever they do, Lay Cistercians make sure to allocate a part of their day for prayer and contemplation. They make it a point to seek a balance between work and prayer life.
Contemplative spirituality makes up a big part of a Lay Cistercian’s daily routine. Aside from daily prayers, they also make time for silence and solitude. It is in these moments that they tune out the distractions of the world and wrap themselves in God’s holy presence.
To strengthen their faith, Lay Cistercians also tend to gravitate towards communal gatherings. Praying together with the community allows them to transform themselves deeper into the mind and heart of Christ. It serves as an avenue to renew their commitment to God, refresh the soul, and nourish the spirit.
The Characteristics of a Lay Cistercian
Much of a Lay Cistercian’s characteristics are grounded on Cistercian charism. This is the spiritual gift that every Christian needs to fulfill the mission of the church.
Aside from piety, silence, and solitude, Cistercian charism also includes:
- humility
- simplicity
- patience
- labor
- gratitude
- obedience
- hospitality
- stability
- ongoing conversion
These gifts are essential characteristics of the Cistercian spiritual identity. But these charisms may not be as easy to cultivate for people who are not called to the monastic life. Lay Cistercians acknowledge this. As such, they take these charisms and adapt them to suit a lay person’s way of life.
These charisms serve as the foundation of their moral and spiritual principles. Whether they’re at home, at school, at work, or wherever, these gifts guide their actions and interactions with others.
Who Can Become a Lay Cistercian?
Any confirmed Catholic can become a Lay Cistercian. Men and women, young and old from all economic and ethnic backgrounds, are welcome.
But remember that this is a way of life. It’s not just something that you do when you have the time. This is a commitment that you have to fulfill every waking second.
Cistercian spirituality puts great stress on peace, silence, simplicity, and humility. It’s a lifestyle centered on the belief that happiness comes not from fancy things and material possessions but from God himself. Their greatest wealth is their faith. They are not drawn to glamour and the spotlight. Rather, they find joy in the ordinary and unexciting.
Those who are called to such a path, whether a monk or layperson, are drawn to a way of life that can best be described as “ordinary, obscure, and laborious”.
If you find yourself drawn to such a lifestyle, the Lay Cistercian community will be delighted to welcome you.
How Do You Become a Lay Cistercian?
First of all, becoming a Lay Cistercian is a community affair. It is not something you can do on your own.
Everyone who wants to become a Lay Cistercian goes through a formation process. Most Lay Cistercian communities follow a five-year education program.
But before they can join the Formation program, all aspirants go through an observation stage. This is to acquaint them with the Lay Cistercian way of life and to help them discern if they are truly called to this path. During this, they will have to attend the monthly community meeting and the yearly retreat.
The observers will also be educated on topics such as:
- Cistercian history
- The Rule of St. Benedict
- Cistercian values
- Cistercian Evangelists
- History of the Lay Cistercians
All throughout this stage, the observers will be interviewed by the council. Once the council approves, they can then proceed to the Formation Program.
The program starts with two years of novitiate followed by three years of juniorate. Upon completion, they can make the Lifetime Promise. It’s a profession of their commitment to the Cistercian spirituality and way of life for the rest of their days.
But the Lay Cistercian Formation Program does not end with making a promise. It’s a lifetime learning process and members are required to participate in monthly meetings and educational study groups. For the Lay Cistercians of South Florida, these meetings are held every second Saturday of the month at Emmanuel Catholic Church in Delray Beach, Florida.
If you’re still not sure about making the commitment, you are always welcome to join us in prayer.
In Conclusion
The Lay Cistercian is a person who believes they have been called by God to be a person who prays. One element of the vocation to pray can be illustrated by this story: Mother Teresa, when she was working in the slums of Calcutta, had a volunteer who came from England to help her. She was a young woman who eventually became ill to the point of not being able to physically help Mother Teresa in her ministry. The saint sent her home with the instructions that she could still help the ministry greatly by becoming a person who prays for that ministry. Mother Teresa was known to send prayer requests to this woman. Like Mother Teresa’s friend, a Lay Cistercian is someone who is convinced of the importance of prayer both in their family life and greater communities. Prayer for oneself and for others is listed as one of the Spiritual Works of Mercy by the official Catholic beliefs. (Catechism of the Catholic Church) Prayer is a deed. It is an Act of Faith. It can be considered an Act of Love as well as an Act of Obedience. Jesus himself asks his disciples to pray not only for their loved ones but also for enemies.
The Lay Cistercian is a person who has been formed in their prayer life much like a mechanic has been formed in his trade by gaining an education on the topic of his trade. Knowing the different types of prayer (such as Lectio Divina), the obstacles to prayer, how to pray, when to pray and what to pray are helpful to the person called to be a prayer person as much as reading a manual or attending trade school classes is to the mechanic. Just as a mechanic is formed to do something helpful (repair broken autos) they are also called to “be” something (a mechanic). Cistercians are considered to “be” what is called “contemplatives”. They become people who contemplate God and his teachings. The hoped for fruit of contemplation is a soul connected to God, a soul full of the peace of Christ – sharing that peace in their interactions with others. In short, the contemplative participates in bringing peace on earth by becoming the person God created them to be – a person who constantly grows in knowledge and trust in God and striving to fulfill the good things God has given them to do. A more technical definition might state that Lay Cistercians are lay people (anyone who is not a priest, monk or nun) who have taken vows to implement certain prayer practices and spiritual efforts according to the rule and charisms used by priests, monks and nuns of the Catholic religious order called Cistercians. This rule, entitled “The Rule of Saint Benedict” was written by Saint Benedict of Nursia(c 480-547), the father of Western Civilization and father of Western monasticism.
My Personal Journey To Lay Cistercians
As a parent, I was once in the position of making the decision to take my young son to the emergency room. He had the flu and had become very dehydrated. The pediatrician had asked me to give him little spoonfuls of Gatorade to keep him hydrated but everything that went into him just came right back out. I decided I would pray a Rosary for him before making the decision to go to the hospital. I sat on the end of his bed and prayed silently in my mind. When I ended the last prayer of this rosary, he suddenly sat upright and said “Mom I’m so thirsty please give me a glass of water”. This coming from a child that was so listless he could not even walk to the bathroom by himself and so nauseous he couldn’t keep small spoonfuls of Gatorade down. I gave him a full glass of water which he drank and was on the road to recovery immediately. I was astonished that the robust request for water came not a few minutes before finishing the rosary or a few minutes afterward but exactly at the moment I had finished the final prayer. When we can do nothing else for our loved ones, we can still pray for them and bring down God’s grace into their lives. If we never ask for something the answer will always be “No”. Jesus tells his disciples “Ask and you will receive, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened”. The acts of asking, seeking and knocking are all prayer acts.
I have heard that God allows himself to be found by the person who seeks him. In addition I have heard that he does not keep his will a secret from the person who really wants to know what is the right thing to do. But I do know that the answer is not always “Yes” when we ask for something. I experienced this one day when my husband and our four children were kayaking in Alaska. We had crossed a strait in the morning and were returning in the afternoon on our way back. What was nice and calm in the morning turned into a very windy, wavy treacherous trip on the way back. It was very scary and I feared for the safety of all of us. So, being a person of faith, I prayed and asked God to please calm the storm so we could pass safely home. As I finished this prayer the storm grew more severe.
With great effort and stress we arrived safely back on shore but I was astonished that my prayer had not resulted in calming the storm. I looked up to the sky and said to God “I don’t ever ask for things like that but I did in this case because my family was in danger and you didn’t listen to me, you made the storm worse! I am a person of faith and you said if we have faith we can move mountains. Why then did you not grant my request in such a dire situation?” I heard him reply to me “Don’t ask for the storms to subside, ask for the strength to get through them.” I believe it was that year that our family experienced a great trial – a trial only endured and safely passed with the help of prayer. The word “adoration” describes the love of someone for someone else they love. Usually when we begin to love someone we want to know them more and more, be kind to them, be a friend, endure suffering for and rejoice with them. I once read that a vocations director at a local seminary would always ask prospective priests if they had ever been in love. He wanted to know this because being in love helps a person understand the Source of Love, God. Prayer is a conversation with God. It is also “being with” God.
On Becoming a Lay Cistercian
I remember sitting in church one day wondering how do the priests and nuns pray? I felt they must have some structure or recommended prayers. It was not long afterward that a woman came up and gave me a copy of the Liturgy of the Hours. She also invited me to the first meeting of the South Florida Lay Cistercians. It was at this meeting I met my first Cistercian monk – Sister Lillian Shank – a person who radiates love, kindness and gentleness. With great patience, she instructed our group every month on the monastic practices used by the Cistercian Order. We read books recommended by the monks. Some of these were difficult to understand and others were less difficult but all were helpful in one way or another in forming a greater understanding of God, prayer and incorporating healthy spiritual practices into our lives. Learn more about our formation program here. Our group went on annual retreats to Holy Spirit Monastery in Conyers Ga. Each retreat was helpful in providing a beautiful silent prayerful place for me to be with God and instruction on various aspects of monastic life. I discovered that the order with which the monks conducted their life was very applicable to how a family could be ordered. Each visit to the monastery inspired new ideas on how our family life could be helped by one or another monastic custom. Little things like making soup out of the leftovers from the previous day, establishing chores for the members of the household, beginning and ending each day with a prayer, reading the gospel reading for the day at breakfast etc. I keep going back to the monastery for an annual retreat because I keep being enriched with each visit. Like a person going to the well for water, for me and many others, the monastery has been a well of God’s grace.
Lay Cistercians are not lay people pretending to be monks
They are people who have incorporated healthy spiritual practices of the monks into their own lives for the purpose of connecting their lives more fully to God. The friendship of the monks themselves brings an added dimension of spiritual brotherhood. They give us a glimpse of the gentleness, patience and sincerity a soul can acquire. They model for us virtues of obedience, perseverance, faithfulness and humility. The Lay Cistercian community provides a nurturing spiritual community to its members and spiritual friendship with the monks. I invite you to come and see for yourself by joining us at our monthly meetings. Learn more about us here.