What Is A Lay Cistercian?
The Answer From A Current Member
Co-authored by Lay Cistercians of South Florida member Nancy Heise.
Lay Cistercians are ordinary Catholics who feel called to deepen their spiritual lives. Drawing inspiration from the Cistercian monastic tradition, they follow the Rule of St. Benedict to cultivate prayer, contemplation, and faithful service to God.
You’ll find Lay Cistercians in all walks of life. They are professionals, retirees, parents, and young adults. They could be your teacher, your banker, or your next-door neighbor. Though they lead ordinary lives with everyday responsibilities, they are united by a common goal: to build a life centered on prayer, simplicity, and a profound awareness of God’s presence.
Cistercians are considered to “be” what is called “contemplatives”. They become people who contemplate God and his teachings.
Lay Cistercians and Monastic Life
Many people mistakenly believe that Lay Cistercians are simply laypeople trying to live like monks. This is not the case. While they are deeply rooted in the Cistercian spiritual tradition, they remain fully integrated into secular life.
Lay Cistercians enrich their relationship with God by adopting spiritual practices inspired by monasticism. However, they do not live in monasteries or follow a monastic schedule. Their vocation is lived out within their families, workplaces, and local communities.
The connection between Lay Cistercians and their monastic counterparts is one of spiritual kinship, marked by gentleness, patience, sincerity, and mutual support. These virtues enrich both ways of life. Monks and nuns offer a powerful example of obedience, faithfulness, and humility. In return, the Lay Cistercian community offers its members spiritual support and lasting friendships with the monastics who inspire them.
The Rule of St. Benedict
In 516 AD, St. Benedict of Nursia crafted a set of precepts to guide monks living in a community under an abbot’s direction. This collection, known as “The Rule of St. Benedict”, has been the cornerstone of Benedictine monasticism for over fifteen centuries.
When the Cistercian Order emerged in 1098, it also adopted this Rule as its guiding principle. Later, by the twentieth century, “The Rule of St. Benedict” had become a foundational text for Lay Cistercians as well, offering a blueprint for integrating Benedictine spirituality into daily life.
At its core, St. Benedict’s Rule embodies the ideals of peace and ora et labora (“pray and work”). While its precepts were initially created to establish practical order in a monastery by addressing everything from prayer schedules and discipline to work and communal service, its ultimate goal is to nurture spiritual growth. It seeks to guide individuals in fulfilling their unique, God-given calling.
In the fourth chapter, St. Benedict provides seventy-two “tools for good works.” These instructions build upon the Ten Commandments and offer timeless guidance for every Christian. They show us how to live a life of charity, self-discipline, and devotion. They call us to:
- Follow Christ by renouncing our own will.
- Choose fasting over self-indulgence.
- Serve the vulnerable by relieving the poor, clothing the naked, and visiting the sick.
- Offer support by helping the troubled and comforting the grieving.
- Act with sincerity and reject all deceit.
For Lay Cistercians, these principles are not just historical teachings; they are the very tools that continue to shape their way of life today.
The Importance of Prayer For Lay Cistercians
While every journey toward prayer is unique, many of these paths share a pivotal moment: a personal encounter with the Divine. Some people have profound, unmistakable moments where they feel God’s presence. Others carry a quiet, steady certainty in their hearts without needing a dramatic sign. Both paths are born from faith. As Jesus told St. Thomas, “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe.”
My own spiritual journey started in the seventh grade. Walking home one day, deeply upset by an injustice I had experienced at school, I found myself looking up at the sky. Through tears of frustration, I cried out, “Where are you?” not expecting any kind of response. It was simply a release of my pent-up emotions. A week later, I stepped inside a Catholic church for the first time. The moment I crossed the threshold, I felt an overwhelming sense of love envelop me, reaching into the depths of my soul. As tears streamed down my face, I heard a clear and gentle whisper in my heart: “I am here.”
I instantly remembered my cry to the heavens just days earlier. This was the answer. That moment brought an indescribable sense of joy and unwavering certainty. The idea of God transformed from a distant myth into a tangible, present, and profoundly loving reality. It wasn’t long before I approached my parents, asking to be baptized.
The Daily Life of a Lay Cistercian
On the surface, a Lay Cistercian’s life is indistinguishable from that of their neighbors. They are professionals, parents, caregivers, and entrepreneurs, fully engaged in the responsibilities of the secular world. The defining difference, however, lies in their unwavering commitment to weaving prayer and contemplation into daily routine.
Lay Cistercians are called to find a harmonious balance between their spiritual lives and professional duties. They understand that a deep connection with God is cultivated not in isolation from the world, but through consistent presence amid its many demands.
The cornerstone of their daily practice is contemplative spirituality. This involves more than reciting scheduled prayers; it’s about intentionally carving out moments of silence and solitude. By stepping away from the world’s distractions, they can more readily turn their focus inward to the quiet, steady presence of God.
Beyond solitude, Lay Cistercians also find strength in communal prayer and fellowship. These gatherings foster a shared sense of meaning and unity in Christ. By coming together, they refresh their spirits, reinforce their commitment to God, and deepen their sense of belonging within the faith community.
The Characteristics of a Lay Cistercian
The Cistercian charism lies at the heart of the Lay Cistercian way of life. This spiritual gift not only supports the Church’s mission but also shapes the identity of those who embrace this calling.
While piety, silence, and solitude are foundational, the charism also highlights other key virtues:
- Humility: Acknowledging one’s dependence on God and others.
- Simplicity: Living a life free from unnecessary complexity or material possessions.
- Patience: Enduring trials and waiting on God’s timing with grace.
- Labor: Embracing work as a form of prayer and service.
- Gratitude: Cultivating thankfulness for God’s gifts in all circumstances.
- Obedience: Listening to and following God’s will.
- Hospitality: Welcoming others as one would welcome Christ.
- Stability: Committing to one’s community and spiritual path.
- Ongoing Conversion: Continuously turning one’s heart toward God.
While these virtues are fundamental to the Cistercian identity, living them faithfully can be difficult beyond the structured environment of a monastery. Lay Cistercians acknowledge this challenge and adapt these spiritual gifts to the unique responsibilities and situations of life outside the cloister.
These values serve as the spiritual and moral compass for their lives, shaping their thoughts, actions, and interactions in all aspects of daily living.
Who Can Become a Lay Cistercian?
Any confirmed Catholic is welcome to explore becoming a Lay Cistercian, regardless of age, background, ethnicity, or financial situation. However, it’s crucial to recognize that this path is not merely an activity for spare moments but a profound way of life. It’s a daily commitment lived with purpose.
The Cistercian tradition cherishes values like peace, silence, simplicity, and humility. It teaches that true, lasting happiness stems from a relationship with God, rather than from possessions, status, or luxury. Here, faith is the ultimate treasure, and joy is found in the elegance of a simple life.
Whether lay or monastic, those who feel called to this vocation are often attracted to a life that has been described as “ordinary, obscure, and laborious.”
If this spiritual path speaks to you, the Lay Cistercian community would be honored to welcome you into a life of prayer, simplicity, and faithful service.
How Do You Become a Lay Cistercian?
The path to becoming a Lay Cistercian is a communal journey of spiritual discernment and growth. It’s not a solitary endeavor but one undertaken with the support and guidance of a community.
Aspiring members engage in a structured five-year formation program. This process is designed to deepen spiritual understanding and nurture a connection to the Cistercian way of life.
Before beginning the formation program, interested individuals enter a period of observation. This time allows them to become acquainted with the Lay Cistercian lifestyle and to discern through prayer whether they are called to this path. During this observation, they are expected to participate in the community’s monthly meetings and the annual retreat.
Aspiring members explore various subjects during the observation phase, including:
- The history of the Cistercian Order
- The Rule of St. Benedict
- Core Cistercian values
- Cistercian Evangelists
- The history of the Lay Cistercians
During this observation period, council members meet with aspiring members to discuss their spiritual journey and reflections. After this discernment process, individuals who receive approval are invited to begin the Formation Program.
The Formation Program itself consists of a two-year novitiate, leading into a three-year juniorate. At the end of this five-year period, members can choose to make their Lifetime Promise, marking their lifelong dedication to Cistercian spirituality and this unique way of life. For those who feel called, it’s a lifelong commitment that begins with discernment and grows in community.
However, this promise does not signify an end to formation. The Lay Cistercian Formation Program is a lifelong journey of continuous learning and spiritual growth. Members remain engaged through monthly meetings, ongoing study, and active community participation.
The Lay Cistercians of South Florida convene on the second Saturday of every month at Emmanuel Catholic Church in Delray Beach, Florida.
Individuals who are still discerning their calling are always welcome to join the community in prayer.
In Conclusion
A Lay Cistercian is, above all, a person of prayer, believing they have been called by God to this specific vocation. This calling is beautifully exemplified by a story from Mother Teresa’s life. An English volunteer, who had served diligently in Calcutta, became ill and could no longer continue her mission work. Mother Teresa sent the volunteer home, but not without reminding her that a vital role remained: praying for the mission. She even entrusted the woman with specific prayer intentions, underscoring the indispensable power of this spiritual support.
Much like the volunteer in Mother Teresa’s story, Lay Cistercians recognize the vital role of prayer within their families and the broader community. Catholic teaching identifies praying for oneself and others as a Spiritual Work of Mercy, an act of faith, love, and obedience. This aligns with Christ’s call for his disciples to pray not only for their loved ones but also for their enemies.
Cultivating a life of prayer is central to the Lay Cistercian charism. Much like an apprentice learning a trade, growing in prayer requires instruction, discipline, and dedicated practice. This spiritual apprenticeship involves mastering various prayer forms like Lectio Divina, identifying and overcoming common obstacles, and developing the discernment to know how, when, and what to pray for.
Just as a mechanic’s identity is shaped by their craft, a Cistercian’s identity as a contemplative is formed through dedicated practice. This life of contemplation, which involves deeply reflecting on God and His teachings, is not an end in itself. Its purpose is to cultivate a soul united with God, filled with Christ’s peace, and equipped to share that peace with the world. Through prayer and trust, contemplatives become instruments of God’s peace, growing into the individuals He created them to be.
To put it simply, Lay Cistercians are individuals who, while not being priests, monks, or nuns, dedicate themselves to the spiritual disciplines and prayer practices of the Cistercian tradition. This way of life is built on The Rule of Saint Benedict, a guide written by Saint Benedict of Nursia (c. 480–547). As the founder of Western monasticism, his influence has been pivotal in shaping Western civilization.
My Personal Journey To Lay Cistercians
As a parent, I once found myself at a crossroads, debating whether to rush my young son to the emergency room. He was battling the flu and had become dangerously dehydrated. Despite our pediatrician’s advice to offer him small amounts of Gatorade, his little body refused to keep anything down. Before heading to the hospital, I decided to pray the Rosary for him. I sat quietly at the foot of his bed, praying silently. The moment I concluded the final prayer, my son, who had been too weak to even walk, suddenly sat up. “Mom,” he said, “I’m so thirsty. Can I have some water?” It was a startling transformation. Just moments before, he had been unable to keep down even the smallest sips of liquid. I gave him a full glass of water, which he drank eagerly and without any nausea. From that point on, his condition rapidly improved. His request for water didn’t just coincide with his recovery; it came the very instant I finished the Rosary. Not a moment sooner, not a moment later. When we feel helpless to aid our loved ones, prayer remains a powerful recourse. We can entrust them to God’s care, but we must first ask. As Jesus told his disciples, “Ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” These actions of asking, seeking, and knocking are the heart of prayer.
I had always been told that God reveals Himself to those who earnestly search for Him and that His will is clear to those who truly wish to follow it. Yet, experience has taught me that “Yes” is not the only answer to our prayers. This lesson became particularly vivid one afternoon in Alaska. My husband, our four children, and I were kayaking back across a strait we had crossed in calm weather that morning. But the return journey was different. The serene waters had become a frightening expanse of wind and turbulence.
Fearing for my family’s safety, I prayed fervently, asking God to calm the turbulent waters so we could reach home. The moment I finished, the storm seemed to intensify. Though we eventually made it to shore unharmed through immense effort, I felt a sense of confusion. I spoke honestly with God, questioning why my prayer had not been answered. “My family was in danger,” I lamented. “You said faith can move mountains, so why didn’t you grant my request?” The answer that came to my heart was simple yet profound: “Don’t ask for the storms to subside. Ask for the strength to get through them.” That year, prayer became the sole vessel that carried our family through a significant trial, ensuring we navigated the turbulent waters safely.
When we adore someone, we love them deeply. This love moves us to understand them better, show them kindness, and share in their joys and sorrows. I once heard a seminary vocations director say he asked potential priests if they had ever been in love. He reasoned that experiencing human love provides a window into understanding God, the very Source of love. Prayer, then, is not just a conversation with God. It’s the simple, sacred act of being present with Him.
On Becoming a Lay Cistercian
My journey into Cistercian spirituality began unexpectedly. During a quiet moment in church, a question surfaced in my mind: How do priests and nuns truly pray? I suspected their spiritual practice had a depth and structure that mine lacked, and a desire to learn more took root. Soon after, a woman handed me a copy of the Liturgy of the Hours and invited me to a meeting of the South Florida Lay Cistercians.
At that first meeting, I encountered Sister Lillian Shank, a Cistercian monk whose kindness, gentleness, and love were palpable. Under her patient guidance, month after month, our group delved into the practices and wisdom of Cistercian spirituality. We immersed ourselves in books recommended by the monks. Some were challenging, but all served to deepen our understanding of God and prayer. These readings weren’t merely academic; they revealed how spiritual disciplines could practically enrich our everyday lives. Learn more about our formation program here.
Our community made annual retreats to Holy Spirit Monastery in Conyers, Georgia, which offered a serene environment for silence, prayer, and learning about monastic life. With each visit, I saw how the monks’ structured lifestyle could translate to family life. These trips inspired practical adjustments that enriched our home, from making soup with leftovers to avoid waste to assigning household tasks. We also began and ended our days with prayer and read the daily Gospel together over breakfast.
I return to the monastery each year, and every retreat offers new insights and spiritual renewal. For me, and many others, visiting the monastery is like drawing fresh water from a deep, life-giving well, a true wellspring of God’s grace.
Lay Cistercians are not lay people pretending to be monks
Lay Cistercians are men and women who deepen their relationship with God by weaving the spiritual practices of the monastic tradition into the fabric of their daily lives. Through their connection with monks and nuns, they find a unique spiritual kinship. They also discover a living example of peace, gentleness, patience, and sincerity. These are virtues a soul can cultivate through faithful practice.
Through their example, monks and nuns offer a living model of virtues like obedience, perseverance, faithfulness, and humility. Their witness and guidance provide encouragement to Lay Cistercians striving to cultivate these same qualities in their own lives, whether at home, at work, or in their communities.
The Lay Cistercian community is a supportive spiritual family united by prayer, fellowship, and a shared desire to seek God. In this nurturing environment, faith deepens, friendships flourish, and members grow together in their spiritual journey. We invite you to experience this way of life firsthand. Join us at one of our monthly meetings and discover the richness of our community.
Learn more about us here.