Posted on January 16, 2025, by thecenterforcontemplativepractice

1. I AM THE CHURCH — Well, maybe just one leaf on that big Maple Tree of Life, but I am the only one who knows that I know and can choose what love and truth to bring into my living experience. I am not my wife, daughter, or even you (and vice versa). This uniqueness that I am a temple of the Holy Spirit, and, might I add, the only Catholic on the face of the earth who can interface with the reality open to me each day as I look out on what is and seek the answers to three questions that burn in my unconsciousness (and even peek through into my conscious thoughts some days): a) What does it mean for me to seek to explore the depths of my humanity each day? b) What does it mean to have love beyond human experience as my energy source to look at that humanity? c) What is truth, a reality beyond my human experience and principles upon which I can base my transition toward being the most profound and highest form of humanity open to each of us? Life becomes a process of being aware of the ontic possibility of the manifest ability of all beings I encounter in each moment. My Catholic heritage (as I know it), coupled with my added commitment to abandoning my false self each day to seek answers to those three questions, is something I can do without “going to Church.” However, it is undoubtedly there if I go for adoration before the Blessed Sacrament. My point in all this (at last) is that I am the living leaf on that great panoply of meaning called the human experience. As a temple of the Holy Spirit, I have a Holy of Holies (the upper room of my inner self), which is accessible to those whom I allow to enter. It is before the Blessed Sacrament in silent and solemn awareness of the presence of the Other. At my age, all I do is WAIT for an encounter with Jesus sitting next to me on that couch, merely putting myself in the presence of what cannot be contained or proscribed by matter or human intelligence. In many ways, it is like going fishing. Some days, you don’t catch anything, but that is the wonder of the sport. The photo below shows how I have decorated my upper room and, in silence and simplicity, wait for the Lord. In truth, I am not waiting for Christ to show up, but for me to convert my unruly nature to one of abandonment of self to be open to the ontic possibility of the manifest ability to be. This presence is how I use my Catholic spirituality to be who I am at the deepest level of my humanity. I use time-tested Cistercian and Benedictine opportunities within myself to be in the presence of the One I love. One such Cistercian Way (as I understand it) is to consistently and consecutively use Lectio Divina or Liturgy of the Hours to help my mind focus profoundly on what it means to love at the deepest level of my humanity. I must do my best to be aware of Christ in Lectio Divina daily and repeatedly. These two attributes help me focus on what some consider absolute fantasy and folly. I do everything I do as a Catholic within my temple of the Holy Spirit and being at Church (building).
2. PRAYER IS A MINDSET, NOT A FORMULA—Both are needed for prayer. I have been increasingly aware that prayer is not words said at a particular time, although I use this term repeatedly. Instead, each day is consecrated to knowing, loving, and serving God in this life and packing for the trip to tomorrow. Each day is the opportunity to place myself (voluntarily and with full awareness) in Christ’s presence and wait for God’s silence to fill me with pure energy as I can absorb it. That is why waiting is so critical and why, after all these years of trying to meet God on my terms, I have abandoned that impossible quest and instead sit quietly, in silence and solitude, in the presence of the upper room of my inner self and wait. This is not passive waiting, as in waiting for my favorite television program to come on, which is Animal Cracker, but is instead an act of lifting my heart to mind to God and listening to the silence or whispers of God that answers those three longings of my heart, more than any mere human energy could ever accomplish. All it costs me is an act of my will to swallow my pride, knowing that I know everything and can do it all. Let me be me, and God be God.
3. BE MORE PENITENTIAL –This third area, which is not a final description of my thoughts but rather a snapshot in time that I share with you, has to do with my recent awareness as a Lay Cistercian that I must focus more on doing penance for my past sins (sin being the times I made a complete fool out of myself because I chose my will instead of God’s). Growing up, my mom and dad used to tell me that I must take what comes my way, in terms of health problems or difficulties beyond my ability to change them, and offer them up in reparation for my sins and to pray for those in Purgatory. As any good, self-centered Catholic who thinks that all spirituality is dull and a waste of time, I sloughed this idea off as advice for some old, withered prune of a person who has nothing left to live for. Voila! Guess what? I am now that old, withered prune of a retired person who seems to have nothing to live for. Now What? I have re-discovered my Catholic roots of spirituality, which are long dormant but still there, which revealed that I might use my aging condition to benefit my constant search for a more profound humanity, love, and truth.
4. I came across the prophecies of a Catholic nun from Japan who received private revelation from the Blessed Mother centered around our need to be penitential. Look up this site for yourself and make your judgment. Usually, I don’t pay any attention to these revelations or prophecies, thinking incorrectly that they divert from Christ as my center. Now, I see all these manifestations from God as an invitation to pay attention to my center; Jesus is Lord, but this shows how one person can point out a defect in my spirituality, a blind spot. This happened to me after reading about Our Lady of Akita. I invite you to go to the site and get whatever inspiration comes your way. https://www.ewtn.com/catholicism/library/message-from-our-lady–akita-japan-5167 This apparition is not the center of my faith but points me to a way to give glory to the Father through, with, and in Christ, through the Holy Spirit in a way I have not tried before. The revelation is not the end of anything; it points to Christ and how to love Him more and more. So, I now say the Penitential Rosary (Sorrowful Mysteries) every day at 2:00 a.m. No, I am not religious; that is my morning bathroom break. As per the revelation from Our Lady of Akita, I now offer up all my suffering with old age (the grumbling and complaining about how the world is going to Hell) for five different themes (every day, which is that consistency and continuity I talked about in my number 1 point). These are the intentions for each decade of the rosary (five) on the sorrowful mysteries of Christ’s profound love for us and my admittedly lack of love in response.
5. Agony in the Garden — I pray for mercy from God for myself, to not look on my sins but on my feeble attempts to be a disciple. I pray for mercy, mercy, mercy between each Hail Mary; My Jesus Mercy.
6. Crowning of Thornes — I pray for all those in my lifetime that I have slighted or sinned against with my pride and bias, not by name (except for my relatives or teachers in School). I asked God for mercy for them and that they be loosed from their sins through the blood that comes from the thoughts of humanity and which Christ had placed on His head for my (our) sakes.
7. Scourging at the Pillar— I pray for all the clergy, nuns, brothers, and lay ministers of the Church who have toiled in the vineyard for their lives and now are in Purgatory waiting on those who are still alive to pray that they are loosed from their sins. By His stripes, we are healed. I pray for all those ministers, rabbi’s mullahs, and gurus.
8. Jesus is Nailed to the Cross — This is for all those in the Church Universal (Holy yet all flawed, except for Jesus and Mary). Have mercy on all churches. Have mercy.
9. Jesus Dies on the Cross- I offer this decade for all humanity, all those who have ever lived, and I promise that God be merciful for them. The price of this mercy, the ransom for many, was on the cross (for all humanity and me personally).