What Does It Mean To Be a Submissive Wife?

Published June 28th, 2019

The idea of a submissive wife in the 21st century is almost unthinkable. A wife is supposed to be her husband’s partner, his equal in every aspect. Why should she submit to him?

Indeed, the word itself conjures an image of someone who is a slave to her husband’s wishes. A wife who waits on her husband day and night and never says a word against him. But nothing could be further from the truth.

To truly understand what it means to be a submissive wife, let us first define what submission really is.

What Does ‘Submission’ Mean?

Merriam-Webster defines the word “submission” as the condition of being submissive, humble or compliant. It can also be an act of submitting to the authority or control of another. Cambridge Dictionary further defines it as the act of accepting the power or authority of someone else.

All these suggest that, as opposed to slavery, the act of submission is voluntary. The wife accepts the authority of the husband but that doesn’t mean she’ll agree to his every wish. She retains her free will and the right to decide on her own.

How The Bible Defines ‘Submission’

From the old to the new testament, there are a lot of verses in the bible pertaining to a wife’s submission to her husband.

This verse from the gospel of Peter tells us what good it will do if wives submit to their husbands:

Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives. – 1 Peter 3:1

In St. Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, he told wives to submit to their husbands as they do with the lord. In the same breath, he instructed the husbands to love their wives like how Christ loved his bride, the church, whom he had given up his life for.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church because we are members of his body. – Ephesians 5: 22-30

Note that he uses the word “submit” rather than “slave” to highlight that wives obey their husbands not because they have to but because they want to. That they are not in any way lesser than their husbands. He further strengthened this stance on his epistle to the Galatians:

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. – Galatians 3:28